Monday, May 28, 2012

Take It To The Limit

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...that both obese and slim people can get stretch marks?  And that 70% of teenage girls and 90% of pregnant women will get stretch marks? -

Doctors say that puberty can cause stretch marks in both sexes.  So young men aren't exempt from it either.  I remember entering high school and seeing some of the guys starting to work out and bulk up and seeing some of them end up with some serious stretch marks on their ripped biceps.  I thought "Hmm...that's curiouser." Not realizing that it was totally normal, I may or may not have sterilized everything those guys touched of mine.  And spent some extra time wiping down the benches they used before me.

Fast forward 4 years out of high school (shout out to Pine Bush High School - whoody who!) and mama's sportin' a baby bump.  And some serious belly road rash.  I had stretch marks I think from the day the midwife said "Yep.  Your eggos preggo."  And I was a bit unnerved because I was super athletic and really fit and thought I would definitely fall into the category of the privileged 10% that didn't get pregnancy stretch marks.

But it was not to be...

My stretch marks looks like a roadmap to nowhere.  Or one of those Looney Tunes maps where it shows you where Bugs and the gang traveled over a long period of time zigzagging across the land.  I was mortified.  Shocked and appalled that my body could revolt against me like this, I played the cover up game for nearly all of my 10 months of gestation.  (Psst...yep pregnancy is really 10 months long, they just don't want to tell you that up front so as not to scare you.  I promise.)

Fast forward again now 7 years after having my babies.  It's been 5 years since having my last one and guess what? I'm still sporting the tangled web across my midsection and down the sides of my torso.  Now I did consider doing a month by month photo slide of my progress on here, but then decided that it would be too much Lynn flesh on the web for us all to handle.  And I am still actually pretty self-concious about that whole section of my body that essentially GOT WRECKED pushing out my kids years ago.  The husband claims it's no big deal but I feel for my overall satisfaction with my body, I need to try and do something about it.

So to try and at least do something and make some kind of effort to help get my body snap back Beyonce' style (ssssshhhhyaaaa right) I went out and purchased a bottle of Bio Oil.  This little one.

It's not my coming Messiah or anything but it is a nice little thing that I hope in the end will help a sistah out!  That fine print on the bottom says that it "Contains the breakthrough ingredient PurCellin Oil.  Now I have never heard of PurCellin Oil so I looked it up and apparently its a laboratory recreation of the preen gland oil from ducks.  Yep.  The quack quack kind.  Interesting huh?

The bottle states that it should not be exposed to direct sunlight and should be stored in a cool, dry place.  Now that to me is weird because I go in direct sunlight every single day and I wonder if that will diminish its effectiveness?  Another ingredient that it contains is paraffin.  Boooo....liquid paraffin, or mineral oil as it's sometimes known as, is the stuff used in Vaseline and it can clog pores.  Which can lead to dehydrated skin.  Which makes me go :o/ "HUH?"  Why would this ingredient be needed?  I really don't like that additive and it still gives me pause.  Read up more on paraffin over at wikipedia here...

I haven't been using it too regularly and I must tell you that I am not sure if it's just oil being rubbed on my belly or the oil itself but there is only the slightest difference going on.  Just a smidge.  But my belly hasn't started sprouting any acne (thank goodness) so the pore clogging must be minimal.  

My end verdict is that I will give it one more month and see if there is anything extraordinary happening by the end.  If there is then this routine will continue.  If there isn't then I say "Later for you!"

Either way I will try and keep you posted.  Have any of you guys ever tried this and found success with Bio Oil?  Does Bio Oil really work or is it a waste of money?  Sound off.

My best,

Song of the Week: This artist has some crazy belly moves and sick hips.  Shakira "Whenever, Wherever".  She inspires me...and this song brings back crazy high school memories.


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Cyndy said...

I always say my stretch marks are my beauty marks - what's more beautiful than all my little babies? That said, I've tried my own body oils, just to see. I agree with you. I think it does help some, but I've not had any scientific study done on my belly to truly measure the effects :).

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